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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
heavyhauler
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Sorry, but that reads like a bad translation from academic German. If you want people to *read* this interesting document, you can't start off with a string of dependent clauses and appositives with the subject and main verb sort of interspersed among them!! Untangle the clauses and modifiers, and put in about three periods, and you'll communicate a lot
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
johndoe
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<< Untangle the clauses...and you'll communicate a lot more. >>

agreed. interesting stuff, but simplify the language structure. this is actually a trend that's been cutting through circles in the legal profession
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
LimShady
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Thanks. I hammered it out over two cups of coffee in as many hours, and this was just getting everything into the TXT file.
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
BankirOwer
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LOL!

I always tend to do this...
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
Ticketdealer
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So better you should've posted your *second* draft rather than your first ...

Note that this problem doesn't appear in the slightest in your newsgroup postings (whether technical ones, like when you looked at the Mahler 10th mss., or the polemical ones), which suggests you have a feeling
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
wordshop
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Well-known in its orchestral garb as the first movement of Charles Ives’s Orchestral Set No.1, “Three Places in New England,” this music was inspired by the bas-relief located in Boston Common created by scupltor Augustus St. Gaudens. It was originally composed for solo piano as part of a three-movement gathering embodying Ives’s feelings about the American Civil War and its causes.

On a sketch for his “Emerson” music (music intending to reflect the thoughts of Concord philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson), he outlined the plan in this manner (source: Ives Collection microfilm frame no. f1011):

1. The Common (Largo) (Emerson & Park Ch[urch]) 2. The Abolitionists (Allegro) Wendell Phillips — Faneuil Hall 3. “The St.Gaudens” (Adagio – Andante) “Moving marching faces of souls”

The movement to abolish slavery, the part the Abolitionists played in that movement, and the organization of the first all-black Union regiment under the command of Col. Robert Gould Shaw are the gathering’s
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
Vgtrzubx
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d.g. porter asks:

<< Better? >>

much.
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Posted 2 Years, 2 Months ago
thunderchicken
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Muy.
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